My Future is Secure

So I've realized I haven't posted on here in ages. My apologies! Want to know what's going on in the life of Jessica Williams right now? I shall tell you.

Remember when I posted about not knowing if I should stay at Auburn to pursue interior design or if I should pursue music?? WELL the Lord guided my steps to come to the decision to move from Auburn to Nashville and try to make a career in songwriting. And let me tell you, I've only been here for 2 weeks and I've already seen an abundance of confirmation that this is where He wants me to be!!! It's so wonderful here and I am loving every second!!!

I moved here at the end of June and one thing that I was so so nervous about was finding friends. I just KNEW I was going to be sitting around with wifi being my only friend.

This verse has been on my mind throughout pre-moving, to moving, to now I'm here. It has been the lock screen on my phone to constantly remind me. A verse everyone knows, but do we really believe it? I can say I do now!

I do have one friend from home that is here for the summer and the day after I moved here, he told me to go to Centennial park because they have a swing dancing night every Saturday! So I was like, yeah man I'll be there! I was on my way to the park and he told me it may take him a while to get there cause he was working. So I drove around Nashville, trying to get lost, for about an hour, until he finallyyyy called me and told me he was on his way. I almost didn't go, but after a little while I decided, ya know what? YOLO. Jus kiddin' but not really... I am SO STINKIN GLAD I made the decision to go that night because I can honestly say, making that decision changed my life for the better.

I walked up to the pavilion where everyone was dancing, tried not to look like a complete loser, and searched for my friend. I finally found him and talked to him for about a minute but then the girls and the guys had to split up cause the dance instructor was teaching new steps. Long story short, I didn't hang with my friend too much that night, but I met new people!

A girl came up to me and was like- "Are you Jessica Williams?" I was kind of taken back, but also flattered that she knew my name, and replied "yeah!!" And she went on to tell me that she watched my video about coming to Nashville! (you can watch it here if you haven't seen it) I instantly became friends with her and she shared with me that she goes to Auburn!! I obviously didn't know her from there, but we have a lot of mutual friends! She introduced me to some of her friends and I also had an instant friendship with them. They told me about a "life group" they have every Monday night that I should go to! So come that next Monday night, I went and saw the Lord. I saw the Lord written over EVERYTHING that night, and realized he was written over everything I had done the first few days I had been in Nashville as well as everything else in my life.

As I was sitting there that night listening to all these college kids talk and worship Jesus together, all I could think about was how amazing God is. Literally 4 days earlier I was so nervous about not finding friends, and here I was worshipping Jesus with the thing I was so anxious about, friends. My smiles that night were coming from the inside out and I felt closer to Jesus more than I have ever been.

I saw a quote yesterday that I don't know who said, but I firmly believe:

"My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure."

My past is truly redeemed because of what Jesus did on the cross for me, and you, and your friends and their friends, and their friends, and their enemies and the enemies' enemies and you get the picture.

My present makes sense! Everything is working together for good! God has a PERFECT plan. Trust me. Trust the Bible!!!

And my future is secure.

Seriously, say that out loud.

My future is secure.

It's SO HARD to trust in that. I know first hand! I have no idea what even tomorrow looks like for me. I've moved to Nashville all by myself because I am trusting the Lord that he knows what he is doing in my life. I've already seen that he knows what he is doing by all the people that I have met in my first 2 weeks here! It is seriously amazing.

No matter where you are in life, this is God's plan for you. And you may be like, I don't even know how this can be in God's plan for me. Let me tell ya, if you trust that God knows what he is doing, there's no need to worry about the future because your future is ALREADY SECURE!!! Can I get an amen?

So that is just a small snippet of what's been going on in my life. THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES for everyone that has been so supportive in my move. I have seriously been overwhelmed by all the love you all have shown me!!!

And do me a favor. Before you get in bed at night and your mind starts racing about different possibilities in your life, say to yourself (preferably out loud) "my future is secure." It's really comforting.

In Christ Alone,

Jessi



here are some pics from my first couple of weeks here!!!

So my parents met here. When my dad proposed to my mom, 

they came to this spot. It's called "the Love Circle." Best spot to see all of Nashville.

Here's the band that plays at "Dancing in Centennial Park" on Saturday 

nights during the summer.

It's so fun. I suggest everyone should go!!!

For the 4th of July, I went with some of my friends to a building downtown

called the Pinnacle. PERFECT seats let me tell ya.

Oh and I did get to play at The Bluebird Cafe after a week of being here!

A friend of mine, Tom Douglas, was playing a show and asked me to play

a song in the middle of his set! Here's a video of it!!

jesus will be our song

So I haven't posted on here in a while, my apologies! I've been super busy, like always. But I do want to take time out of my morning (my last free morning in a while because classes start back tomorrow) to share with all of you who read this scatterbrained blog of mine what I have learned about life since the last time I posted!

Life is hard, ya know? There is A LOT of suffering in this world. Accompanying our own frustrations and heartaches, there are also shootings left and right, people fighting about what's right and wrong, how to handle situations, and just CONFLICT. People get sooooo weighed down about things of this world. And I mean, it's 100% natural, this I do know. But one thing I have really come to try to live out is that THIS WORLD IS NOT OUR HOME. Like how depressing would that be if this is all we've got? Pretty depressing.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18 says:
"For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."

The heartaches and frustrations are light and momentary in the whole scheme of eternity. We get so beat up about things that really don't matter in the long run that we forget about what really matters, and that's Jesus!!

I don't think I've ever explained the meaning behind the name of my blog "Until Then..." I came up with the name while listening to worship music and I came across the song "Jesus Will Be Our Song" by Ronnie Freeman. Some of the lyrics are as follows:

Do you ever feel like a stranger here?

Do you ever hope your pain will disappear?

Do you day dream about what it might be like

for night to be no more and the Lord to be our light?

Don't lose heart, don't forget:

This world is not our home

There's a better place where we belong

And one day soon we know He'll come

But until then

Jesus will be our song

Like a haunting melody played on a violin

There's an aching in my soul for a place I've never been

I'm finding like a child

It's getting harder to wait

I look up to the sky and think what if it's today?

Signs and headlines help remind me:

This world is not our home

There's a better place where we belong

And one day soon we know He'll come

But until then

Jesus will be our song

I couldn't find a link on youtube for you to hear the song, and I couldn't find the CD on iTunes for some reason. But I know the CD is sold in Christian book stores and places like that. The CD is called "Ronnie Freeman If This is What it Means." All of Ronnie Freeman's songs are great and well written! My favorite part of the song is the chorus: This world is not our home, there's a better place where we belong, and one day soon we know He'll come. But until then, Jesus will be our song. 

This world IS NOT our home. We were made for so much more than this! We are put on this world to share the good news about the gospel and for "Jesus to be our song"! So my blog is called "Until Then..." because this world isn't our home and I'm just sharing on my blog what is happening in my life until Jesus comes back and takes those who love and believe in him to live with him forever!!! How exciting?!?! 

So as I'm over here struggling on whether to pursue interior design or music, I need to remember that this world is not my home and this is only a light and momentary affliction! Whatever I end up doing, it needs to be for the glory of God because that's all that matters. 

I've learned a way to serve God is to serve people!! I just got back from being in Atlanta at a thing called Passion! It's a largeeeeeee (60,000 people) gathering of college age students in the Georgia Dome that are all there to worship the Living God!! It was great. There were many great speakers such as Louie Giglio, Beth Moore, Francis Chan, Judah Smith, and John Piper. And awesome musicians like Chris Tomlin, Kristian Stanfill, Kari Jobe, Lacrae, Matt Redman, Brett Younker, and Christy Nockels. I probably left out a couple names, but it was a great 3 days of worship and learning about God. Here's a picture from one of the days:

One of the MANY things I learned from being there is that people where made to serve God and serve people. We focused on the End It Movement and we came to the awareness of the amount of people in the world today that are enslaved (27 million to be exact). Even spreading awareness for this cause to help end slavery helps a lot with the process!! So if you would, click on where it says "End It Movement" a couple sentences before this one and join the movement!! 

There is so much heartache in this world today and the End It Movement is there to help those being sold into slavery. Groups they are partnered with help take in those they have rescued and bring them to a knowledge of Christ!

This world is hurting. Those of us that know that this is not our home need to let Jesus be our song and help share to others the good news and bring them to a saving knowledge of Christ! That's what we were made to do.

Jesus is coming back!!!!!! What are you going to do until then??

In Christ Alone, 

Jessi 

moving my feet

Recently, I have been struggling with letting go. Just letting go of all my fears and anxieties. Letting go of my hopes and dreams and saying to the Lord "show me your hopes and dreams for me instead of my own." It's kinda hard...not gonna lie. It's like I know that it's what I need to do, but I can't make myself 100% just give up everyyyy little thing to the Lord. I always want my way. It's a problem.

I've been praying about these things. I pray that the Lord will guide me in every way. What friends and relationships do you want me to have? What should I do this summer? What should my major be? What am I going to do when I leave college? I pray about it all the time, and I honestly haven't been feeling like I am getting any answers and it's frustrating.

so I was on Pinterest today.
what day am I not on Pinterest? I don't know..
But today I was just doing my daily Pinterest run-through and I stumbled across this:

Just a simple little quote. Don't know who said it. But it really made me think. I pray about everything I am worried about allllllll zee timmeeeee but am I willing to "move my feet"? Am I willing to do what the Lord wants me to do rather than what I want to do? 

This goes back to my struggle with always wanting things to go my way. And I thought, maybe the Lord is answering my prayers when I ask him what He wants for me, but maybe they aren't what I want, so I'm ignoring Him? 

So as I start a new week tomorrow. My goal, and maybe if you're reading this it can be your goal too, is to seriously listen for the Lord's voice in everything I do- not just ignore Him if it's something I don't think is for me. I need to be willing to move my feet and trust that the Lord knows exactly what He's doing in my life. I need to depend on Him and follow His guiding presence by staying in constant communication with Him: not just asking Him for things I want, but for things that He wants of me. 

In Christ Alone,

Jessi

here in this waiting room

If anyone knows me at all, they know that I have a big passion for music. Ever since I could talk, I'm pretty sure I was singing. Once I was able to walk, I put on my own shows on the fire place-like many little girls. When we lived at our previous house, we had a huge back porch that had stairs leading down to our back yard. Almost everyday after school, around 1st and 2nd grades, I would stand on the porch by the stairs and imagine my back yard was full of screaming people. I would turn on our outdoor stereo to Martina McBride (her Independence Day album to be precise) and I would lip-sync to her whole CD and like seriously get into it. My neighbor's mom would always be outside gardening or something (wasn't really paying attention cause my eyes where closed getting into the music...like this song) and she would comment on how beautiful my voice was. I was always so proud of myself when she would say that. I would just laugh to myself..."I FOOLED HER." Yeah, I was like 6... I was a sweet child I promise, I guess I could just be a diva in my own mind. POINT BEING I have always loved music.

my sister Kendall (left) and me (right) putting on a show for the rents way back when

Going into my eighth grade year, I learned how to play guitar at a summer camp (Camp Desoto). I saw that the guitar class was offered before I went to camp there and decided to give it a try, so I took my dad's old guitar that he used in high school. I was really discouraged in that class because I was literally the worst one. I became very frustrated because everyone else seemed to catch on so easily. By the end of camp though, I was a little better. 

When I got back, I decided I wanted to take guitar lessons and learn a little more. I started taking from a sweet family friend of ours and actually the same person that my dad took from in high school! I only took for about 5 months and then stopped because I had just learned the basics. 

Eighth grade was the first time I performed singing and playing guitar. I played Alison Krauss' "When You Say Nothing At All" at the talent show at my school (the only year they opened up the talent show to middle schoolers- and of course I was all over that one). It didn't go smoothly at all, but I loved it.

Middle of ninth grade year is when I started writing my own songs. First "heart breaks" are the pits. But HEY I wouldn't be where I am now without them! My songs have always been my "diary out loud": things I wish I could actually say to someone's face or just thoughts or feelings. They're not always about boys, I promise. I have written a few songs about people in my life that have passed away and have left a great mark on me. My songs are just a mix of good and not so good things that have happened to me! Just thoughts and feelings! It's a great therapy.  (If you want to listen to my music, click here.)

Over the years, the Lord has just put things into place when it comes to my music. When people talk about the Lord's timing, I know first hand that He has His perfect timing, it can just feel draining when His timing isn't matching up with ours (selfish, right?).  The song "Waiting Room" by Jonny Diaz has been a good reminder that He has a bigger plan with his timing! Some of the lyrics are as follows:

Here in this waiting room yearning for You to say go

And though I’m convinced that a yes would be best

This time You’re telling me no

It’s not that I don’t have an answer

It’s just not the one that I’d like

But through this time Lord I must keep in mind

You’re always wiser than I

You have a much better purpose

And You have a far greater plan

And You have a bigger perspective

Cause You hold this world in your hands

The things that I seek are from You

Like the strong healing touch of your hand

But when You say no help me trust even though

There’s a reason I can’t understand

When it comes to my music, I've learned to be patient with the Lord's timing. When I was in 10th grade, I tried meeting with several people in Nashville in the music business and they gave me their input on my music and gave my demo CDs to their friends in the music business. They gave me a glimpse of hope when they asked me if they could possibly sell one of my songs to Miranda Lambert or Kellie Pickler. They obviously didn't buy my song, but the fact that they tried was AWESOME.

I went up to Nashville a couple more times after that, and tried to get my music started and also looked at Belmont University, where I would have gone if I had decided I wanted to major in song-writing. After a little while, I kind of gave up on going to Nashville and just focused on school and graduating. 

me and my sister singing at the BlueBird Cafe in Nashville (2009)

singing in Nashville at the Belmont Cafe (2010)

Over the years, opportunities to sing have been put in my lap. I have not gone out there looking for them, honestly. Even though it's my favorite thing to do, I just don't think about going out and finding places to play at in my spare time. And when places and opportunities to sing arise, I've learned this is a part of God's timing and perfect pace.

Today is one of those days where I honestly just want to quit school and move to Nashville and try to make a living. But today is also one of those days where I need to remember that God has a perfect plan and with His perfect plan, He has His perfect timing. If it is God's will for me to quit school and move to Nashville, then He will make that obvious to me. I'm not saying that is going to happen, but I mean if that's what the Lord is calling me to do, then I will answer that call. Until then, I'm in the waiting room yearning for Him to say "go" with whatever he wants me to do with my life, music or not.

In Christ Alone,

Jessi

first post- learning to be still.

There have been so many changes in my life recently, one being my move to Auburn. Living on your own is so crazy different. I have to remember to get meals and wash my clothes. On top of all of that, so much school work and fun things to go to butt heads. There is ALWAYS something going on. Honestly, I probably shouldn't be writing this post right now cause I have a paper to write, studio project to work on, a major quiz and a midterm to study for. Plus it's ADPi initiation weekend, so yeah. A lot going on.

These first 2 months here at Auburn, I am starting to learn a lot about myself. I feel like this is the first time in my life I have had so much going on at once. So many emotions about different things going on plus school work and different meetings to attend make my head spin in circles. Normally, I keep everything inside and try not to let it show to others because I don't want them to worry about me, but there comes a point where I just break down. That happened to me this passed Sunday.

I woke up Sunday morning feeling terrible, my throat hurt and I felt like a just ran into a brick wall-my head hurt so bad. I had been so stressed out the few days before that so I decided to skip church. I slept in and made myself some microwave grits (yum..). It looked like a pretty day outside so I decided that since I didn't go to church, I should find a spot somewhere on campus and have some time with the Lord. Best decision I had made in a while.

view from my box (aka, my dorm room)

The air was so crisp and it was about 70ish degrees, it was perfect weather. I found a shady spot under a tree and parked myself. I had my iPod in and I put on my "Christian Music" playlist. The first song that came on was "One Thing Remains" by Bethel. The lyrics are as follows:

Higher than the mountains that I face

                                                      Stronger than the power of the grave

Constant through the trial and the change

One thing remains

One thing remains

Your love never fails it never gives up it never runs out on me[

Your love never fails it never gives up it never runs out on me

Your love never fails it never gives up it never runs out on me

Your love

On and on and on and on it goes

It overwhelms and satisfies my soul

And I never ever have to be afraid

One thing remains

In death, in life, I'm confident and covered by the power of your great love

My debt is paid there's nothing that can separate my heart from your great love 

I sat there under the tree and just listened. I thought about the line "constant through the trial and the change." I lost my cousin, who was my best friend, a couple years ago in a car accident and the Lord's love never ran out on me. I have been going through SO MANY changes recently, and the love of the Lord has been the only constant. Another line that stuck out was "it overwhelms and satisfies my soul" and I thought, do I really believe that His love satisfies my soul? So many things I have been going through and I feel like I am so dissatisfied. I've realized I've only felt this way because I'm looking for satisfaction in earthly things that will fade away and never make me happy.

The verse came to my mind, "delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" so I decided to look it up. I went to Psalm 37 where in verse 4 it says this. I read the verses around it and noticed how much I have been in need of reading them. 

I started to dissect these verses and apply them to my life. Verse 3: "Trust in the Lord and do good.." TRUST in the Lord. Because so many changes are going on, it has been hard to just trust that everything is going the way the Lord intended it to go. He has a perfect plan, and I am so often the little pestering gnat trying to interfere with everything.

Next verse: "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of the heart." DELIGHT yourself in the Lord. Do I really delight myself in Him? And what does it look like to delight myself in the Lord? If I lost everything in this world, I would still have Him- would I be delighted?

verse 5: "COMMIT your way to the Lord, TRUST in Him and he will act." So many times I sit in my quiet times and I'm like: Lord, I commit my ways to you- let everything I do be for your glory. And I believe it that day, for about 2 hours after my quiet time, and I forget because of all the hectic-ness going around. So I'm still striving to commit my way to him and not wander off another path getting distracted. TRUST comes up again in this verse too- trust is harrrrddddd when you only see the tip of the iceberg. I'm struggling with that daily.

The last verse I looked at was verse 7 which reads: "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him." BE STILL. After reading that, I took it literally. I just sat there, listening to what was on my iPod at the time- "How He Loves Us". I was being still before the Lord. I was then overwhelmed with the Lord. I broke down in tears, the tears that had been being built up over the course of almost 2 months. Then I just relaxed in His Presence. It was the best feeling to finally let out this stress that had been building up and just be still.

The most awesome thing to me about my experience on Sunday was that I went to this spot under a tree with no intentions of reading something specific. I brought my "Jesus Calling" devotional book, but I didn't end up opening it. The Lord laid EXACTLY what I needed on my heart and I felt Him sitting right there, next to me by that tree with His arm around me, reminding me that He has always been there. Being in a new place with new surroundings, you feel like no one is ever constantly there with you. But the Lord is ALWAYS with you, holding your hand, looking into your eyes saying "you've got this, babe." If I could pass anything along to whoever is reading this scatterbrained blog of mine, hear this: The Lord is constantly trying to get your attention and is always there for you to come to Him, all you have to do is BE STILL and listen for His voice.

In Christ Alone,

Jessi